As I grew as a child so did my imagination and my secret worlds….where I could go and be whomever I wanted… fantasy and science fiction mixed up with lots of

I remember sitting in the library at my school and I was reading “Where did I come from?” The thing was I knew what men and women did sexually .. I always seemed to know from a very young age… and I never thought about how I knew… my parents never had the talk with me even as a teenager because they just assumed that i found out from other teenagers or my older sisters… but I knew from my father.. I can’t call him that though… because in my mind i always saw him as “The dark man” and that’s who he was to me for a very long long time… my insiders and I couldn’t think of him as a father or Dad because he wasn’t… he betrayed that trust you are supposed to have in your father.. that knowledge that this man will always love you.. have your back… give you away at your wedding.. help you move house… all those sorts of things he took away from me when I was little by sexually abusing me… I guess I’m lucky in that I don’t have any visual memories of him abusing me… I have one and that was enough for me… the rest were body memories and PTSD symptoms, anxiety, depression, suicidality, etc…

I’m not going to go into details just to say I was always terrified of him touching me sexually and I never knew why until my insiders came out and I found out the truth.


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