Autism Freed Me

High in the sky I float.. above the clouds… nothing surrounds me… just the warm sunlight upon my skin… and a tingling feeling inside my heart… I laugh and giggle.. as I float… the balloon lifting me up high as a kite…

Fear a distant memory…. I smile happily… looking up… I never want to come down… I just want to float so high… this moment forever…

This is what finding out I was autistic is like for me…

A explosion of happiness… of joy… of realising this is who I am…. I lovingly run my hands over the book… my manual of autism… of symptoms… of coping mechanisms… of stimming and meltdowns and all the vernacular that I have yet to learn…

No more sadness, chaos, wondering why I felt like such an alien… now i have a sense of belonging.. of knowing that there are other people just like me…

I was truly disabled before, I was suicidal, I dissociated… I was depressed and very unhappy, I lived in a cave in my mind and I hid from the world for 45 years…

and now Im not… I have knowledge at my fingertips… anything I dont understand I look it up… I research.. and for the first time in my life I am actually learning… MPD took so much of myself that I had nothing left for life.. for me…

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Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am more than my diagnoses, I am more than my past. I defy anyone to put me in a box and label who and what I am. I am exceptional. I am unique and so are you. Strive for the stars and you shall paint the world around you with ecstasy, laughter and empathy. Show compassion for those less fortunate. Do not forget the lost ones. Stand up for human rights and social justice. I have been labelled Autistic by therapists, I have been labelled with Multiple Personality Disorder by psychiatrists. On Fetlife I am labelled an Owner, a Cuckoldress and a Mistress. Labels do not define who you are but give others an idea of what you are and that is all. Be more than just a label.

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