High in the sky I float.. above the clouds… nothing surrounds me… just the warm sunlight upon my skin… and a tingling feeling inside my heart… I laugh and giggle.. as I float… the balloon lifting me up high as a kite…

Fear a distant memory…. I smile happily… looking up… I never want to come down… I just want to float so high… this moment forever…

This is what finding out I was autistic is like for me…

A explosion of happiness… of joy… of realising this is who I am…. I lovingly run my hands over the book… my manual of autism… of symptoms… of coping mechanisms… of stimming and meltdowns and all the vernacular that I have yet to learn…

No more sadness, chaos, wondering why I felt like such an alien… now i have a sense of belonging.. of knowing that there are other people just like me…

I was truly disabled before, I was suicidal, I dissociated… I was depressed and very unhappy, I lived in a cave in my mind and I hid from the world for 45 years…

and now Im not… I have knowledge at my fingertips… anything I dont understand I look it up… I research.. and for the first time in my life I am actually learning… MPD took so much of myself that I had nothing left for life.. for me…

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