Meltdown

So.. last night was a meltdown… Ive had them all my life but I never knew they had a name… I always hid them… made sure no one new…..

Since finding out about Aspergers its like I can find labels for things that happen to me…

Im looking more at my internal stuff and slowly working things out…

I still felt a bit horrible this morning… but it slowly went away..

I still feel awful about my others being back and very foolish and naive that I thought they were gone.. it still feels like the universe has played a horrible trick on me…

I still feel.. like they could snatch my future from me… my goals.. my aspirations…

Its horrible living like this…. I never knew that before… I always accepted it and thought I was ok being multiple… I did not see because I was inside my mental illness.

Now ive had time without them.. Ive been able to do things… to start to get somewhere in my life… and now they are back I just see it all disappearing in front of my eyes…

I dont want them in my life… in my head and certainly not taking over.. ever again…

 

Advertisements

Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am more than my diagnoses, I am more than my past. I defy anyone to put me in a box and label who and what I am. I am exceptional. I am unique and so are you. Strive for the stars and you shall paint the world around you with ecstasy, laughter and empathy. Show compassion for those less fortunate. Do not forget the lost ones. Stand up for human rights and social justice. I have been labelled Autistic by therapists, I have been labelled with Multiple Personality Disorder by psychiatrists. On Fetlife I am labelled an Owner, a Cuckoldress and a Mistress. Labels do not define who you are but give others an idea of what you are and that is all. Be more than just a label.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s