Broken Hearted

I really like Ashley but I don’t want a romance with him…. I am not sure I want that … if I would even risk letting myself love someone again…. I like him but I do not see myself falling in love with him or even want to… I made it clear to him that we would be only friends and Mistress/Sub….

I don’t want anyone to fall in love with me…. what do I have to offer them… I have no money…. no equity and no superannuation even.. I am going to be working until I die…. even if I can get a job…

I cannot even buy someone a fucking coffee at the moment…. I am using every cent I have to pay off debt from 5 years ago… and even though I know it will be finished this year … it feels like it will go on forever….

I hate my ex for that… for running off and leaving me with a huge debt….. because of her I had a nervous breakdown… I have a debt 9 agreement… which is just about bankrupt anyway…. I lost my eldest child and i refuse to open my heart to anyone else…. I refuse to fall in love again… and I don’t want anyone to fall in love with me… no one would want me anyway… I am a broken toy… no one ever wants the broken ones…


Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am more than my diagnoses, I am more than my past. I defy anyone to put me in a box and label who and what I am. I am exceptional. I am unique and so are you. Strive for the stars and you shall paint the world around you with ecstasy, laughter and empathy. Show compassion for those less fortunate. Do not forget the lost ones. Stand up for human rights and social justice. I have been labelled Autistic by therapists, I have been labelled with Multiple Personality Disorder by psychiatrists. On Fetlife I am labelled an Owner, a Cuckoldress and a Mistress. Labels do not define who you are but give others an idea of what you are and that is all. Be more than just a label.

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