Beautiful

I read an article the other day ‘A sensory world’ by Renata Jurkevythz at the spectrum magazine online…

OMG.. I never thought that the way I looked at the world around me was a symptom of autism… i just thought it was from MPD.. but its not.. I get lost in nature sometimes.. in the beauty around me.. I feel like I am part of everything around me.. getting lost looking at the beauty of dust dancing in the sun-lite… the symmetry of leaves.. the sound of the trees through the branches .. it all distracts me.. I could easily get lost staring and just experiencing everything around me..

This morning I could of cried… the sunrise looked so beautiful… how could this be bad.. how could looking and experiencing the world around us in such a way be a disability….I have always been different… I have always followed my own path… i gave up on fitting in a long time ago…

I love the smells around me… the sounds… the sights… i love touching and feeling things.. especially soft things… I just thought i was normal..lol..

Smells can make me feel sick.. throw up…. especially in the mornings…. always have…

But some smells are like a drug… I could smell them all day especially perfumes and colognes..,,mmmmmm

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Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am 47 years old, divorced a long time ago.. with abusive ex's in my past... I have three children in their early twenties who may or may not have Aspergers. I am self diagnosed and in the future when I can I would like to be officially diagnosed. I just don't have any money to spare atm. I am on Disability for having Multiple Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed officially in 2012. I knew about my personalities from when I was 31. Finding out I am probably on the spectrum has in some ways given me a life jacket and simultaneously felt like someone is pushing me under..... This is just my thoughts put into words.

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