There are days where I want to pour all my thoughts and feelings onto paper and I hope that the yearnings and desires will disappear like water soaking into the ground….

There is so much feeling inside me somedays that I just want to scream into the universe and expel everything that I am into dust… force it out of myself so I can just relax for one second…

I want everything.. all my memories to just be expelled like a super nova and be gone..all the feelings and grief and experiences… just to be gone in a puff of smoke.. I want to feel empty… I want to feel peace… god i want peace… I want to feel what it is like to be at peace.. peaceful.. calm… serene… like a still pond on a hot day… I crave it…


Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am 47 years old, divorced a long time ago.. with abusive ex's in my past... I have three children in their early twenties who may or may not have Aspergers. I am self diagnosed and in the future when I can I would like to be officially diagnosed. I just don't have any money to spare atm. I am on Disability for having Multiple Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed officially in 2012. I knew about my personalities from when I was 31. Finding out I am probably on the spectrum has in some ways given me a life jacket and simultaneously felt like someone is pushing me under..... This is just my thoughts put into words.

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