Slut

There are days where I yearn to let go of my control.. days where I wish I was back in Master Lukes room…. being his little ass slut..

Days where I crave to let go… to just be… to trust someone enough to let go…

Does that make me a submissive in disguise… no I dont think so… I know its because it is one of my insiders yearning.. to be what she once was… took me years to work out that what she wanted and what I wanted were two seperate things… it made such a conflict in my life at the time I was with Master Luke… because at the same time I wanted to be a Mistress and I had a babyboy who lived up North and I would visit him every few weeks and I loved him dearly in my own way… but then the little slut loved Master Luke with all her heart… which one was I supposed to be…. I felt so confused…

That is the problem with having insiders… at the time they all wanted their own lives and would fight to have control of what I did… thank god they dont do that now..

There were so many times I just wanted to give up and I did for short amounts of time and I stayed in my padded room inside my mind but I was still aware of what was going on and the mess and fuckups they were making on the outside…

They tattooed my body with tattoos i did not want… or even like….even got my nipples pierced… which is something I did not enjoy having… I hate the feeling of having bars in my nipples….just feels so uncomfortable and even though we tried last year and wore them for an extended period of time… 8 months…..one of them just would not heal… when I had to get a mammogram for breast cancer I just gave up and left them out…luckily I just had non malignant tissue…

 

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Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am more than my diagnoses, I am more than my past. I defy anyone to put me in a box and label who and what I am. I am exceptional. I am unique and so are you. Strive for the stars and you shall paint the world around you with ecstasy, laughter and empathy. Show compassion for those less fortunate. Do not forget the lost ones. Stand up for human rights and social justice. I have been labelled Autistic by therapists, I have been labelled with Multiple Personality Disorder by psychiatrists. On Fetlife I am labelled an Owner, a Cuckoldress and a Mistress. Labels do not define who you are but give others an idea of what you are and that is all. Be more than just a label.

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