Life Is A Bitch

What do you do?
When looking for someone special I test them… and I find each one wanting… its not someone I realised until now…
Not sure it is something I will ever tell… so if I do not hide this then well… maybe I am being stupid and letting you into my mind…
Carnal plays with everyone… she will roll your mind and body until you dont know whether your cumming or going..
Once you are hers…. and will do anything… then you are lost… and so am I…
because I dont want you to want Carnal… I dont want you to fall for her tricks… and every man does…. even when I dont want them to…they do…
That is not what I want… I want you to resist … I want you to show me that your stronger than that… I want you to show me that you will have me as I am… without my Carnal ..without sex…without being rolled by my Bitch… but everyone gets rolled and taken….and Carnal is satisfied… and I am left hurt and lost…that no one is going to love me for me… and not what I do to them…

What can I say….Life is a bitch baby…. If I do not test them what could happen? – Carnal

But that hurt… you took over and played with Serena… when I did not even want to play with her the first meet…

Serena was just too delectable for  me to not play with her – Carnal

Yes but I really liked Serena… she is special…. at least I think so…

Yes, she is special but then so are you… and I and Gyle…Fifi… just because I played with Serena does not mean she will not end up loving you… I am a part of you am I not? Is not Gyle just another part of you? YOU see us as people and separate even though logically you know we are not… YOU fear not being loved for who you aware?!… I am just a different you, I am YOU… I am who you desire to BE….. Little One please do not cry…He will love all of YOU… YOU are special… YOU are unique…. YOU wanted to play with him so much but you are shy and worry too much about not respecting boundaries because your father taught you boundaries were meant to be broken and he did not respect yours as a child… I played with him because YOU wanted him… YOU wanted to roll his mind and to take him as YOURS… WE love YOU with all our hearts… YOU…not anyone else… don’t think you are unloveable because WE know the real YOU… Please forgive me for what I do is always for YOU – Carnal

 

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Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am 47 years old, divorced a long time ago.. with abusive ex's in my past... I have three children in their early twenties who may or may not have Aspergers. I am self diagnosed and in the future when I can I would like to be officially diagnosed. I just don't have any money to spare atm. I am on Disability for having Multiple Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed officially in 2012. I knew about my personalities from when I was 31. Finding out I am probably on the spectrum has in some ways given me a life jacket and simultaneously felt like someone is pushing me under..... This is just my thoughts put into words.

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