2 am

It is 2 am and once again I am awake…. I have accepted Jim and Ollie’s offer of play and will be playing with them soon… my kink is going up a notch… with them and a new sub I will be playing with…. sighs… fun fun fun…

but on another note I wonder at the effort I am putting into being a mistress and whether in the long run, it will be worth it… Serena and I playing on a regular basis seems a mile away right now… as she is so unwell.. and has such long hours at work… she is looking for another job so I hope she gets one where she can have more down time..

Is it selfish of me to want more time with her… I want her I admit it… bad… I have got it bad… I have never fallen so hard or so fast… even though I am cautious my heart is not… and I fear she will tear it out and stomp on it…

I am terrified that I will not be a good enough Mistress for her… I am not creative and I do not have a good imagination when it comes to scenes…. shrugs…

I like Toplayotoplay .. Andrew.. he is the switch who wants to sub to me..  we cammed yesterday and he is a lovely person plus quite sexy.. which is always a bonus..lol lol

Don’t think I would ever fall in love but lust and fun yes…

but who knows I do not anymore… and Degustacion is continually unknowingly teasing Lucius with the play videos and photos he keeps sending me which of course we love..lol

So  I egg him on even more…hahaha

Poor Lucius… it must suck so much to not have your own body… I always felt bad that my others could not…



Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am more than my diagnoses, I am more than my past. I defy anyone to put me in a box and label who and what I am. I am exceptional. I am unique and so are you. Strive for the stars and you shall paint the world around you with ecstasy, laughter and empathy. Show compassion for those less fortunate. Do not forget the lost ones. Stand up for human rights and social justice. I have been labelled Autistic by therapists, I have been labelled with Multiple Personality Disorder by psychiatrists. On Fetlife I am labelled an Owner, a Cuckoldress and a Mistress. Labels do not define who you are but give others an idea of what you are and that is all. Be more than just a label.

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