Loved Many

I have loved many people in my life… from when i was little to now… and it always amazes me the capacity the human soul has to get up again after it has fallen over and been trodden on…

As a child it was my friends and family… the few children who would play with me and my brother…

As a teenager it was a couple of girls who accepted me for who i was…

As a young woman it was the young men who slept with me…..

As a mother it was my children …..

As a foolish woman it was a troubled young woman who had control issues and maybe should have been put down at birth because fuck she was nasty….

Sorry Pandora .. piss off… please…

As a grown woman… a few foolish men who were weak and one who was too gentle for one such as me….

Now…. in the middle of my life… and grown into my skin I want to fly with someone and hold them close in my arms at night… I want to let them see me as I really am and revel in my dominance and sexuality….

Pandora is so not who I thought she was…. yes she used to hate men and I only ever felt her anger when she didnt like something… but she is letting me see more of her than she ever has… and I am liking who she is…. not sure why she is coming to the fore now… maybe because I am stepping out into the world of kink for the first time … or maybe just because she wants to …

I have no idea really… all I know is I want to revel in the world of BDSM and dominate men, be sadistic and enjoy my life to the fullest….


Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am 47 years old, divorced a long time ago.. with abusive ex's in my past... I have three children in their early twenties who may or may not have Aspergers. I am self diagnosed and in the future when I can I would like to be officially diagnosed. I just don't have any money to spare atm. I am on Disability for having Multiple Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed officially in 2012. I knew about my personalities from when I was 31. Finding out I am probably on the spectrum has in some ways given me a life jacket and simultaneously felt like someone is pushing me under..... This is just my thoughts put into words.

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