What? The fuck?!

What the fuck is wrong with you Serena?….. I know it’s not your fault that you ended up working longer than you thought you would…..to 5pm instead of 10am….I know it’s not your fault that instead of coming here to dinner you picked up your housemate from hospital and looked after her….but what the fuck is wrong with not messaging me…? What the fuck is wrong with being adult enough to give me yes/no answers instead of I’ll let you know…?bYou knew I had invited you for dinner….what the fuck is wrong with letting me know you were not coming? Did I not make myself clear enough…? Or do you just not care that I ran around all morning..cleaning..shopping and cooking most of the afternoon for you? To then wait and realise you were not going to show…and then when I ask you …you answer with a comment about having Friday off instead…so I ask to spend time with you then and you totally ignore my sms….or decide not to tell me your thoughts…..what the fucking fuck?

Am I a fucking idiot or something? What the fuck am I missing here folks? Am I too invested in someone who might be hedging their bets like Rubén said? Am I ignoring the red flags because I like her too much….? I am totally pissed off…frustrated and upset…she hardly ever writes or messages and never calls ever… It has been fucking six months and we met once like a month ago….this is ridiculous…I know she works ridiculously long hours..? I know she is unwell and I know she has taken it upon herself to look after her housemate who has cancer but what the fuck…?!!! How long do I have to fucking wait? She says she is looking for another job or retraining so she can get a less demanding job…..great I say…fantastic but here and now I’m fucking fed up with fucking waiting…..I want to just turn around and tell her to fuck it I’ve had enough of waiting…she has not shown me she is interested…do I expect too much…fuck…a couple of sms a day and I’d be a happy Chappy….I just cannot deal with this right now….I cannot stand long distance…I’m an impatient person and I don’t take my time like Serena….I feel like saying stop stringing me along and just fucking tell me already….!!

Author: thesecretaspieblog

I am 47 years old, divorced a long time ago.. with abusive ex's in my past... I have three children in their early twenties who may or may not have Aspergers. I am self diagnosed and in the future when I can I would like to be officially diagnosed. I just don't have any money to spare atm. I am on Disability for having Multiple Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed officially in 2012. I knew about my personalities from when I was 31. Finding out I am probably on the spectrum has in some ways given me a life jacket and simultaneously felt like someone is pushing me under..... This is just my thoughts put into words.

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