My very first experience to do with BDSM and the lifestyle was when my ex-wife now ten years ago asked me to dominate her.
And I was so vanilla…lol.
I was like ‘What!!!, You want me to hurt you??!!! ‘.
Needless to say, I did get over my horror at her wanting me to tie her up, blindfold her, and strangle her sending her flying off into subspace.
Can you just imagine it?
Here I was a woman in her mid-thirties and I had only ever done missionary… lol
Had only given one head job and she was the first woman I ever slept with.
The things we do for the ones we love.
I can say it was an eye-opening experience especially when we came across Fetlife.com and the whole world of sex and BDSM was like a surreal world I had never seen before.
I laughed a lot at what people were into and now I laugh at myself for being one of those exact people I laughed at… Bahahaha.
I am sure this was not where my spiritual teacher Mrs Trimble thought I would end up when she used to give me stickers. Lol.
But I adored it, I loved how open minded people were about sex. I loved learning about the different people, opinions, roles that they stated they were. Some of the heavy sadism I could not handle, hooks through the skin, hanging people by said hooks just did not do it for me. Needleplay was another one I am not into. Anything that goes into the flesh… gah.
But power exchange, flogging, whipping, canning, golden showers, forced feminization, forced sexual play, forced bi, verbal humiliation, humiliation in general, pet play, human pony, cuckoldry, mother/son, slave/mistress, pegging, human objectification, human ashtray, even toilet.
Anything that has to do with humiliation I am there with bells on.
Definition of sadism – the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.
The thing is I don’t like to be a sadist to just anyone. I love being sadistic to someone I love and cherish.
Is that strange?
I always thought when I first got into BDSM that being a sadist meant you got sexual gratification from only inflicting physical pain.
But for me it about the mental side more.
Humiliating Rashid is the biggest turn on for me ever in my whole life. And the funny thing is it is for him as well. Which makes me laugh as it makes him randier than a rabbit on Viagra. Bahahaha.
I can just see us now getting so randy from the humiliation that we cant keep our hands off each other. Lol. I have a feeling I will be fucking him regularly. Which might be a little strange as I always thought cuckoldry was also about denial but it is not. I think it is whatever you make it and feels right for you as a couple. Although I am never going to give up fucking others. Which is what we both like.
He very much believes we were meant to meet. Me.. hmmm…. yes and no. I don’t think I am as along the road of acceptance about us being meant to be together.
With me, it is only time that will show if we were meant to be or not.
I haven’t truly accepted all of this yet. It still feels very much like a dream. We were supposed to meet for coffee tonight but unfortunately, he is working on a project that has to be finished. I worry as he is working 16 hour days all week. Hopefully, he can rest on the weekend.