I have been feeling a bit non-plussed recently at what to write about. My relationship with Rashid is continuing and getting deeper and more intimate every time we chat or meet. He makes me so happy and I have such a feeling of being loved completely which I have not felt for a very long time. It is like coming home, we both feel a sense of completeness like we are two halves of a whole.

I know that he constantly has me in his thoughts 24/7 just as I do him. I know he cannot wait for me to move to the city not just because he will be able to see me more but just knowing we are living that much closer in proximity is a comfort to him as well as to me.

I will be in the city celebrating New Year’s Eve this year and he will be away which is disappointing but next year will be different. I am trying to find work in the city before I move as it would ideal to have work first although it will be a rush to find a place and move while working.

I have never liked Christmas even as a small child it made me feel uneasy. I know it has to do with abuse but I have no memories that are specific to Christmas time just a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I just want to erase today, I am glad Rashid does not celebrate it. I know it has happy memories for a lot of people and they say its about the people you love, blah blah blah but there are 365 days a year you can be with the people you love, shrugs. Why choose just one?

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