Autism, Life in General

Small talk is awkward


Sometimes it is hard for me to pick up when people are joking with me, actually, it is a lot of the time especially if we are not face to face but on the phone. And text messages are even worse, especially if it is one of those read between the lines jokes and that totally dumbfounds me. I either look like an idiot because I don’t notice the joke at all and take the other person literally or I realise too late and by then eh it is too late. I hate looking like an idiot, I am not dumb I just don’t get a joke unless it is so obviously a joke. I never expect people to tell jokes. Maybe because I never tell jokes. Honestly, I only ever told one joke and that was when I was little. I have never ever told a joke since I was like 6 years old. Is that an aspie thing I wonder or just me?

I seem aloof and standoffish at social gatherings and awkward on the phone because I really do not know what to say to people. When someone asks me how I am they don’t want a detailed 30-minute talk on how my life is going but that is what my first urge is.

I always would give too much information, and yet if I try not to I seem disinterested. I just find small talk confusing and to be honest a lot of people are fucking boring as dog shit.

And to be honest my everyday life is fucking boring. Who wants to hear how I dyed my hair today or browsed around the shops because I was bored and going out of my mind stuck at home. Sighs.



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