Autism, Dissociative Identity Disorder, mpd

“Being Us”

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Being Us

I came across this movie today and as I seem to find it interesting watching how movies and books portray people with MPD/DID I watched it. And it wasn’t a bad movie as movies go, it was a bit soppy here and there but the main character who was a woman with MPD I felt was pretty close to the real deal. At least how I experienced my insiders.

It’s strange watching others with MPD even in a fictional movie because it has a sense of unreality about it because it is not commonly shown in a movie but there is also the knowledge that that was what I was like. That was me…

At times it hurt to watch because I remember so well the pain that she portrays in the movie and as much as I like to think I am no longer like that I spent 45 years with it. Watching it has left me with a heaviness in me, there are times I could go back to being depressed and curling up in the dark but I choose not to, there are moments it would be so easy to slip backwards and so I always have to monitor myself. At the moment I am not where I would like to be and I have slipped a little.

I feel tired, and it is a struggle more than I like to admit to be ok.

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