Autism, BDSM, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Humour, Life in General, Love

Walk Away

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Pandora has a love of fine art and we bought this print even though I couldn’t afford it. Pandora and Carnal never think about money, gahhh.

This painting was called Judith by Gustav Klimt, I think he is one of Pandora’s favourite artists. I will get it framed once I can afford it. Pffst.

Boi walked Friday and while I was hurt I could understand his viewpoint but it was with regret I watched him go. I loved being with him and I loved what we had but I did not think he had the strength for a committed long-term relationship and to be honest the thought of going and living in Tasmania while it was a childhood dream is not what I want to do. He just could not handle me using bulls and I can understand but to be with a cuckoldress you need to have a certain mindset, to be confident enough in who you are to know that what you offer no one else can and that is what R is like. Who, by the way, toddled off again Saturday. R knows what he offers no one else can, so while he cannot fuck me like a bull he gave me everything else.

The funny thing is I was incredulous that he walked again but not surprised, it seems to be his forte, lol. Pandora was just “he will be back”, and to be honest I happen to believe her. Makes me wonder how long he will take this time, one, two or three weeks to come back. I wish I could be as certain as Pandora, she does not hesitate, she takes life and expects it to do as she wishes. I, on the other hand, had to be the normal one, I had to be the one to interact with normal people, be nice, be polite, work, go to school, pay the bills. Pandora would not be popular in everyday life, just her demeanour is different. She looks down on everyone as beneath her. I could just see her now shopping at the local Coles, not a good look. She would not be able to ‘get on’ with others at all. Do the polite social conversations, she would blow smoke in peoples’ faces, she would spit anywhere she wanted, demand that a poor sod open his mouth so she had an ashtray and slap everyone silly, bahahahaha.

But all joking aside, Pandora and Carnal feel more comfortable letting me do the normal stuff, it really doesn’t interest them except when they want to buy something which for Carnal is make-up, lingerie, stockings, clothes, shoes and sex toys. And for Pandora anything elegant and artsy. And shoes, don’t forget shoes she tells me, and bdsm gear.

At least being only three women is better than being a multitude.

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